26th February – 3rd March 2012
Weight: 10st 4lbs
Status: Into the final weeks…
Mood: flabbergasted: someone actually did add a day into the month!
March, March, how I love thee… Not only is spring on its way with just the thought of the sunshine giving me a ma-husive smile but it also means I’m on to the final furlong, the last lap, the… no, I’m out already.
I’m still outrageously busy from a work perspective, but I decided to combat last week’s problem of poor eating with a ‘big shop’ that provided some cracking snacks in the form of healthy eating, with my fridge now stocking more fruit than a Arcimboldo painting.
This week’s biggest obstacle turned out to be confidence. Blur once said “Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as…Parklife” interesting take Mr Albarn but I’m going with; confidence, or lack thereof, is the ruination of many a great plan. For this weekend’s bit of a do, I had a fab dress that I knew looked good but a sudden overwhelming dread of the evening ahead overtook any rational thinking and I found myself on a very last minute shopping trip to find something else to wear. I knew it was madness but continued to act out my illogical fear and even stopped for a moment to admire the irony of life imitating art as the overwhelming trepidation of attending a party that would invoke childhood memories is exactly what my first book was about. I was really frustrated at myself because the night wasn’t about me and my insignificant insecurities; it was about my fantastic best friend & her partner who struggle daily with their disabled child. However, the takeaway is that (as expected, despite my lunacy) it was a great night and a tonne of money was raised for an amazing cause with the occasion proving that anything outside of focussing on the big picture of supporting the people you love is wholly without worth and leaves you feeling somewhat empty.
I’m now left with the embarrassment that I felt that way before going but also proud that I managed the whole night without a drop of alcohol, despite my comfort levels and some pretty heavy peer pressure. At the end of the night, I was able to reflect on the night’s proceedings, remembering key moments that will now stay with me forever (or at least until my noggin gives up the ghost). In addition, I was also able to stay on my feet even after a bouncing surge from the back pushed heavily (and sidewards) towards the dancefloor sweeping all in its path for a bit of Queen’s ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’…